Patterns
Our credit card debt goes up and down - from being paid off to thousands behind - and while I don't see it as something that in 6 months won't be paid off yet again, it just is frustrating.
Growing up, fiscal responsibility was never something really taught to me. I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming my parents, I'm 41, I can manage a budget better than I am right now. I guess that one 45 minute class a quarter of the year when I was 15 was supposed to lay a foundation of amazing fiscal responsibility - guess it takes more than a textbook eh? ;)
Don't get me wrong - we have invested in some instruction later in life, we have a budget, I'm putting away in long-term savings, we give generously (I want to give more), but no matter what my income, we seem to always find ways of planning poorly and pushing past what we wanted to spend.
All that to say that I wish I had a better foundation at a younger age (something we are trying ... trying ... ) to instill in our children for the next generation.
Patterns matter ...
... but patterns can change.
So when I get frustrated, angry, defeated ... I continue to go back to the only source of Truth I can grasp in my hands, and that is Scripture.
The amount of times that Scripture speaks about money, managing money, the benefits of money, the pitfalls of money, the love of money, etc. is staggering.
But I'm not here to share that ... I'm not just talking about money ... I'm talking about patterns.
So I go back to a verse ... a life mantra of mine now ... that speaks into so many areas of my life ...
'I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ' - Romans 12:1-2 (emphasis added)
How can we be transformed? ... by renewing our mind ... why? ... for the purpose of knowing how to budget better? Hardly, but rather to be able to discern what the will of God is ... to know what is good ... acceptable ... and perfect ...
My fiscal mind is still stuck too much in this world ... I'm relying way too much on my own understanding ... and this isn't about fiscal wealth, it's about fiscal responsibility ... I have a much healthier view of my finances now than I did 10 years ago ... but I'm still not there ...
However I hope and pray that this month may mark a milestone in my life where He finally gets through my thick head.
Can I be brutally honest for a moment? I think in this area of my life, God is not God. He's just a REALLY important board member when I manage my money ... however God is not just REALLY important ... He's ... well ... God.
So as we turn another page to another month ... and another monthly budget ... with many good intentions ahead ... may I seek the One who really needs to be in control and just give it all up once and for all ...
Pray for me ...
His,
Matt
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