The Release

I often have said to others when discussing various matters that I need to pray about it. I don't use that as an excuse to not respond or deal with an issue, I honestly think that some matters truly require more serious counsel. However, while I may never thought to verbalize this, I think my heart sometimes feels that there is some time needed to work out these issues, and that it may take a certain duration of time.

While that certainly may be the case, it clearly is not what I think most of my prayers need.

Recently, I have been going though a few significant struggles. I ended up calling on some of my brothers to pray with/for me over the course of the week as I in turn would be doing the same. My hope was to gain some discernment on some decisions that needed to be made, to make sure they glorify Him, and not just me.

I'll pause for a moment as I want to talk about relationships. I think many of us realize that while time with those we love is clearly important, it's not always the quantity, but the quality of the time. With Christ it is no different. For some reason I think I had this subconscious understanding that the longer I prayed, the more clear I would be on how to respond to His will. "Hey guys, I'm going through some stuff right now ... could you pray for me this week while I do the same?" To me that request screams "this is going to take a while".

So going back to my recent struggles, I found myself at the end of a dock this past weekend on a quiet dark lake pouring my heart out God. While it was a dark night on a floating dock (and I was a bit tired), the only thing that fell off was my baggage. I didn't need a lot of time, I just needed to have my heart in the right place. I didn't need countless hours of waiting for an answer, I just needed to leave it at the cross. I didn't need to carry it, I just needed to release it.

I walked off the dock with the same situations in my life I walked onto the dock with, however I wasn't the one carrying the load anymore ... He was. I did get a few nudges, a few hints, but not much more. However that's all I need, because He is in control, and I trust Him more than I trust myself.

There would be little that would bring me more joy than to know that you experience the same.

He is beautiful ... and you were worth the cross to Him.

His,
~Matthew

"I think sometimes those bumps in the road are just speed bumps. They slow me down enough so I see Him through the windshield again guiding my way. I picture Him saying, "slow down son" ~Me