Let me first talk about forgiveness: true forgiveness; His forgiveness; eternal forgiveness. There is no way we will ever be able to earn it, deserve it, or even have the ability to thank Him enough for letting our Lord, our King, the Holy God, get crucified to a tree for our evil selves. That's why it's Grace, it's not earned. All our righteous deeds compared to His Holiness are like dirty menstrual rags (Isaiah 64:6). Are you low enough to even begin thinking about your Lord? Good, because we need to remain there. Forgiven or not, may we never forget where we stand next to the King of Kings. Lord, increase our faith!
So if we are so low, and He is so high, and we are looking for the promise of salvation, eternity, to "Know" Him (John 17:3) not just intellectually, but to be in fellowship with Him. Do you really think a verbal "sorry" or the 60 second bedtime prayer is going to get you that? If I think that's enough then I fear I will hear on that day "I never knew you, away from me you evildoer" (Matt 7:23).
We deserve nothing, and we're promised everything. You still want a "fair" God? I don't.
I have been thinking today of the most amazing gift, repentance. Scripture is filled with promises if we repent. John the Baptist lead the way for the Christ as they both preached repentance. God is willing to forgive, but are you willing to repent? Can you cut off that affair? Now? Can you stop wasting your company's time on personal business? Can you stop that habitual sin of yours that you're not willing to admit to? Are you willing to call some of those 'faults' of yours a sin? You either are willing to do what He clearly has called all of us to do, repent from our sins, or you are telling the Holy God 'no'. Oh, some may take time, and some need to be addressed at this very moment, but the change needs to happen now.
Don't throw this most amazing gift aside. Make a plan, grab an accountability partner, do whatever it takes, but most of all, pray. You will never get to know Him if you don't converse. He will help you … oh what an awesome God we worship. And a very unfair One I may say so! J