You don't get drunk by staring at the bottle, you get drunk by taking it in. The bottle has something that when you drink it, intoxicates you. Of course we all know the obvious and that is because of the alcohol. However the Bible also talks about another type of intoxication.
"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love." (Proverbs 5:18-19 ESV)
When you look at the word intoxicated you get the Hebrew word (transliterated) shagah. Among the possible definitions (determined by context) is to wander; I like to see this as lost or mesmerized. This isn't the word shakab, which is much more sexually oriented, this is about something much deeper.
Going back to my first point about that bottle and the action of drinking. You have to take it in, and there has to be something in the bottle to begin with. Likewise there has to be some transfer done between my wife and I. If she is shutting down (putting the cap on the bottle) and/or I'm not drinking it in, shagah isn't going to happen.
However that shutting down I would imagine can be fixed pretty easily by simply backing up a verse. If I am rejoicing in my wife, expressing to her my love for her, and my attraction to her, I really don't think that there will be as much shutting down. Bitterness, dissension, and being critical of her very well may, and rightfully so. Why would she want to let me share in that intoxicating love that she is holding when I'm treating her with disrespect?
It was great reading this together with her tonight. We talk about anything and everything together and it's always fruitful (even if it doesn't seem so at the time). Oh, we have our disagreements, but it's this open communication that not only continues to help me rejoice in my wife, but for us to be able to share a love so deep, it's intoxicating.
And FYI, this passage that talks about creating a beautiful marriage is smack in the middle of a chapter that warns us of the sweet call of adultery. Let us keep our marriages strong, better yet, keep them intoxicating ... you don't want to be pub hopping around this issue.
Intoxicated by my wife,