The last several days have been rather difficult for me. The children seem to have found new ways to challenge me, I seem to create my own household projects/repairs (like yesterday's garbage disposal mess), and I've neglected nurturing the most amazing wordly relationship I have and that is with my wife. I could make excuses like, "Hey, it's ok, we all get busy", but where does that get me? Back in the same place next month.
So today I rediscovered my favorite place to pray and read at lunch; the top of a stairwell in my building. Seldom used, it's old, dusty, dirty, but most importantly, it's wonderfully quiet and away from this crazy pace we all live at.
It wasn't until then that I began to look back on my day. There was something different this morning, that much I knew. However it wasn't until I got out of the "noise" that I could hear Him again.
His words? "I love you"
It made me recall how I used to often, and recently not enough, simply tell my wife when she's in the middle of having a bad time, "I love you". Sometimes nothing else is said; sometimes nothing else is needed.
Then I thought about last night again. How after I unclogged my pipes (kitchen issues) my day began to change. I showed untypical patience to an untypical crying 3 year old getting ready for bed (turns out she's sick today). I showed untypical patience to my son who for the 100th time it seemed asked the same question about a book for bed. And my wife showed me what I have been missing SO much ... some time together after the kids go to bed for some tea, a snack, and reading His Word together, and simply talking.
Things seem to be flowing better ... He did a work on my pipes as well ...
I feel guilty/grief that I wasted several days in my ignorant and stubborn flesh, and while part of me says 'let go', another part wants to hold on to that feeling as a lesson learned.
For Paul states
2 Cor 7:10 "For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."
So I encourage you ... find that stairwell of yours ... pull aside to pray today; pray from the heart. Let that "godly grief" fill you, not to bring you down, but to lead to you a place without regret. Let Him unclog your pipes ... let Him flow through ever fiber of your soul.
I pray that in the chaos of your day, in whatever termoil your facing, in whatever pain you're expierencing, in whatever frustration and anger that your are fighting, that he just grab your attention, pierce your soul, and you simply hear Him say: "I love you"
Living for the King,