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Monday, May 18, 2015

When I Say No to Prayer


My wife at times will text me when things are difficult at home (children, schooling, friends, personal struggles, etc.) "Please pray for me."  Often times it will even come with some background on what her struggle currently is, so that I know how to pray for her.

So my response is typiccally to pull aside as soon as I am able, and lift her and the situation up in prayer. After all, away from the house, at work, there is not much I can do myself. So I have faith and cofidence that since I can't resolve the situation (or even address it in that moment) that I lift it to the One that does. He's helped coutless times before and I know He will again.

The only problem with my paragraph above is it should have began with the words: "I wish my response was ..."

All too often I immediately pick up the phone and call, and as it's ringing I prepare to solve the problem remotely. "I got this God" is what my actions speak. Did my wife want a solution? Did she want to rehash in the moment of her frustration everything that has been going on? What makes it even worse is that I am sometimes frustrated (the situation, children, even her) as she answers, because her problem became mine. She pauses in the middle of a conflict, takes a breath, and asks to be covered in prayer ... then she gets a phone call, and it's not from God.

For the record, in case you were really curious, that method isn't often successful. I know you are surprised. Is this because God hasn't shown Himself reliable? Is this because I found prayer to be unhelpful? Is this because my method has proven itself more reliable than His? Hardly.

If I could chart the peace and resolution to situations that occurred comparing my method over His you would think me insane for choosing the path I all too often choose. Why must I continue down this path of insanity? Why must I choose control so often over submission?

Why?

Sin. Pride.
"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is a sin." James 4:17
As God reminded me of this recently through my wife I am working hard to let go. You think it would be easy with the success rate that I've had, but alas I am a control freak. While I know I'm not alone, I refuse to console myself with that fact of having company in my sin. It's a sin that needs to be dealt with. So I bring it into the Light and will learn to submit to His loving and all knowing Authority, Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness.

Less calling, more praying,
Matthew

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